


Making Tea, Taking Comfort 2 -- Mutual Appreciation

by Viola_Laterra



Series: Making Tea, Taking Comfort [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Polyamory, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20610815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Laterra/pseuds/Viola_Laterra
Summary: Zuko finds Katara's company soothing after losing Mai; and they make an unusual arrangement.





	Making Tea, Taking Comfort 2 -- Mutual Appreciation

Zuko stood at Katara's door in the inn, uncertain for a moment. Should he do this? Katara had said, in that open, generous way she had, that he could come to her when he needed support.

Mai had left him. For good reason, he knew. And then it had been a whirlwind of dealing with everything in the Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom... Zuko had been so besieged, trying to right what his father and grandfather had done, but also somehow trying to be a good leader to his own people. Well. Things had settled down, since then. But he realized he hadn't had time for it to sink in that he'd driven Mai away. And he regretted that. He regretted it deeply.

And that was why he'd come to visit his uncle in Ba Sing Se. There was a little inn across the street from the Jasmine Dragon, where he and his friends always stayed when they came to visit Iroh. And at the moment, it was just him and Katara. Sokka was off somewhere with Suki, and Aang was somewhere else doing Avatar business. Toph was training her metalbending students.

So Zuko and Katara had had a nice evening with his uncle, enjoying tea and simple food. While Zuko did like the spicy foods they served at the Fire Nation Capital when he was there in Fire Lord capacity, and he had the benefit of enjoying the best of the best... at the moment, he really desired simplicity.

Why, then, was he standing at Katara's door, well after bedtime, in his pyjamas? She'd been happy enough to see him, of course. Ever since the end of the war, there was always a quiet pleasure in exchanged smiles, a hand on a shoulder, an excuse for a little fire and water bending training. But only here and there. So Zuko knew at least that she wouldn't be upset if he knocked and asked to come in. But this wasn't simple. Not in the least. Though they'd gone together to look for the soldier who had killed her mother, and they'd been alone then... this seemed different. Katara hadn't been dating Aang back then. Would it... mean something, if she let him in, and they were alone together? How would Aang feel if he found out?

As he stood there waffling, Zuko was startled by the door opening. Katara stood there on the other side, letting go of the door and crossing her arms. She raised an eyebrow at him and said, "How long were you planning on standing out there?"

Zuko stammered, "H-how did you...?"

Katara sighed, uncrossed her arms, and stepped aside, gesturing for him to come into the room. "It's not been that long since we were all on our toes in case our enemies found us. I'm still a light sleeper. And you're not... that quiet." Zuko noted that Katara had mercifully not said "the Fire Nation," just the general "our enemies," and also noticed that she blushed when she said that he wasn't quiet. He had the irrational thought that he knew he was plenty quiet (he had been the Blue Spirit, after all), and she must have been... listening for him? Or she'd got up at the same time, to come talk to him?

But she cleared her throat, interrupting his train of thought, and pointed at the bed, and said, "So? Are you going to come in?"

Zuko blushed and nodded uncertainly. Some Fire Lord, he thought to himself. But Katara was his friend. He went in and sat on the bed. Katara shut the door, grabbed the chair from the desk and pulled it over next to the bed, and then sat across from him. "So? What's bothering you, Zuko?"

He sat there, uncomfortable on Katara's pile of half-slept-in sheets and comforter, trying to figure out exactly what it was he wanted from her. Eventually he sighed. She had asked, so maybe he should just answer. "Well... I think you must know... Mai and I..."

Katara sighed, too, and looked down. She said, "You're not together anymore. Yeah, I know."

Zuko felt surprisingly better and worse at the admission. Saying out loud what was bothering him was liberating, but it meant he felt it even more strongly now than when he'd been trying to keep it away. But he didn't have time to sit with that for long, because Katara reached across and put a hand on his arm, and said, "I'm sorry."

Zuko nodded, and felt tears threaten a little. He swallowed them back, and said lamely, "Thanks."

Then, for some reason -- maybe it was how warm Katara's hand was on his arm, how soothing her touch was -- he just started explaining to her what had happened. How he had been fighting assassination attempts, trying to understand what was going on in the Fire Nation colonies, trying to figure out how to lead his own nation... and how, somehow in the middle of all that... he'd shut Mai out one too many times.

"And who could blame her for wanting to end it?" he said, a little too loudly, feeling angry at himself.

Katara patted his arm, let go, and stood up. She went to the cabinet next to the desk, and pulled out a cake of uncle Iroh's best green tea, which Zuko remembered she'd bought to bring back to Aang, and carved out a little of it. She picked up one of the teacups that was sitting in the set on the desk, put the tea in it, and bent a little bit of water from somewhere he didn't see into the cup. She held it out to him and said, "Would you do the honors?"

Zuko looked at her, startled. His uncle knew how to heat water without making a show of it. He'd never done it, but it didn't seem that hard. He put his hand on the teacup, and focused on keeping just a little heat, not-quite-fire, between his hand and the cup. Pretty soon the tea was steaming. Katara smiled, nodded, and went to make up a second cup.

A few moments later, she was sitting next to him on the bed, and they were sipping the tea, side-by-side. Zuko was surprised at just how comforting it was, actually. The warmth of the tea, the familiar flavor of Iroh's best jasmine. The warmth of Katara, next to him. The familiar way she smelled. Not that he'd gone around smelling her, or anything, he thought to himself hurriedly. It was just... they'd all been working together so closely, before they'd had to face his father and sister.

And... it was a reassuring memory. Of a time when he'd found people who really accepted him, and, well, when he'd really finally found and accepted himself. Iroh had known, of course, who Zuko really was, underneath everything. His uncle had been hoping, all that time, that Zuko would find himself; Iroh'd been trying to help Zuko see. It was a small miracle that it had eventually succeeded. And Katara felt like a part of all that. And that had been before all the reality of being Fire Lord and having to figure out how to fix everything had settled down on top of him. Just being here, with her, just drinking tea... this was nice. And maybe it was nice to have got it all off his chest to someone he cared about and trusted.

They sat there together sipping the tea for a while, silent. Eventually, Zuko asked, "So, how are you and Aang, you know, doing?"

Katara looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Zuko felt faint panic. What had he meant? He wasn't even sure. He tried ineffectually to get himself out of it: "I... I guess I mean, you're... together, now, and... is that going, I don't know..." eventually he settled awkwardly on, "Is it going all right?"

Katara kept him pinned with a sort of accusing look for a moment more, but then she relented, sighed sadly, and sipped her tea. After a moment she said, "Yeah, it's going all right." But she sounded unhappy.

Zuko said, "It doesn't sound like it's going all right."

Katara looked back up at him, but this time with sadness in her eyes. She said, "Well, we don't see each other very much. I know he loves me, very deeply. And of course, I love him too, just as much... but he has so much to do as the Avatar."

Zuko nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry." Katara shook her head at him, but said, "Thanks. It's okay. I knew, when we started going out, that this would be how it was. In fact..." she hesitated, and glanced at Zuko cautiously. Then she was silent for a long time, sipping her tea, looking at him speculatively.

Zuko had no idea what she was thinking. But he'd put his foot in his mouth too much already, so he just waited. Growing increasingly uncomfortable with the silence, though.

Eventually, Katara reached across him and put her teacup on the beside table. Then she looked at him and said seriously, "Can I trust you never to tell anyone what I'm about to say?"

A little worried about what he was agreeing to, but of course willing to agree anyway because Katara never usually asked for this sort of thing, Zuko said, "Yes, of course." After all, he wasn't really what you would call a gossip.

Katara gave a short, emphatic nod, and then said, "Good. Well, Aang, when he left the last time... He told me that this was probably going to happen a lot. Him leaving. And he said to me..." she hesitated, then apparently decided to go for it: "He said it was all right with him if I had... other relationships."

At first Zuko was confused. But then it dawned on him what Katara probably meant, and he felt the kind of shivery nervousness he'd felt around Mai all the time when they were young, and with Jin on the one date he'd ever been on. In that few moments, his mind raced to whether Katara was thinking she wanted that kind of relationship with him... and then to whether he wanted to have that kind of relationship with Katara... and then it became a kind of mess that he couldn't untangle into any individual thoughts. 

Fortunately, Katara went on. "I'm... I'm not even sure I want to take him up on it. He was... you know how he can go all 'timeless' on you?" Zuko nodded, laughing. It helped him let go of the anxious feelings, thinking of his friend. Aang definitely had a way of suddenly acting 100 years old, wise, compassionate. It made Zuko even sadder that his family had destroyed the Air Nomads; their culture was really remarkable, and it was that about Aang that came through in those moments.

Katara said, "Well, he said this to me when he was like that, all timeless and wise." She paused, chuckling. "And then he said, really seriously, 'just as long as I'm still your main squeeze.' "

Zuko blurted out, "He actually said that?" with both humor and a little poorly-concealed distaste. Katara smiled and laughed, and said, "Yeah." Then Zuko laughed too. That was Aang, all right.

Katara looked over at Zuko and smiled again, flushing a little. "Anyway, like I said, I don't know how he'd feel if I actually did it... and I don't know how *I'd* feel if I did... But... I *am* lonely." She looked down at her hands.

Zuko really felt unprepared for this situation. Katara was his friend; someone he definitely loved very much. He could hear how sad she was, and maybe a little confused. And he felt pretty confused, himself. He didn't know what to do. But eventually he settled on putting a hand on her forearm to comfort her. She looked up at him, and as their eyes met, he felt that same connection they'd made in the moment after she'd saved his life, after they'd fought Azula together.

It was that feeling that there was something about both of them that was kindred in a way that it wasn't with the other members of Team Avatar. A kind of seriousness. A sense of the heavy consequences of most of their actions. They could both be coaxed into having fun, sometimes, but they were both slow to warm. Toph was a curmudgeon, but liked goofing around; Sokka tried to take himself too seriously, but clearly failed a lot of the time. And Aang was the biggest goof-off of all of them... Zuko never knew what to do with him when he got like that. And Zuko had seen that Katara had the same problem with Aang. Of course, when nothing serious was going on, it was fine to let Aang's ebullience carry them all away from their troubles. But when there *was* a problem at hand... Aang was often too quick to disregard it.

Zuko did have to admit that it was probably good for him to be forced to loosen up, even when something serious was going on. In fact, that was something Iroh had always tried to do, and it had made Zuko really angry, years ago. Now it was something he valued. And he valued it in his friend, too. But there was a kind of depth to Katara that always resonated, and was reassuring, calming. And he was feeling it strongly, right now.

Not entirely sure what he was doing, Zuko said to her, "Well, if you're lonely, and I'm around, I'm happy to keep you company." Katara smiled a little, and said, "Thanks, Zuko."

Then it seemed to him that he was noticing for the first time, really, how beautiful she was. Not that she looked any different from any of the other times they'd been together with their friends. But... in light of what Aang had said to her about other relationships, Zuko couldn't help thinking about her in ways he hadn't before. Katara was strong, skillful, compassionate, and lovely. Shouldn't he at least ask if she was interested?

But then he thought about how much he was still in love with Mai, how much it still hurt that she'd removed herself from his life... and he thought about just how important Katara was to him. And whether getting... involved... with her, under any circumstances, would risk their friendship. Let alone these circumstances.

So he said, voice soft and husky, "You're... you're very beautiful, you know. But..."

Katara smiled a little tentatively, though caution lit in her eyes at the 'but'. Zuko wasn't sure if he should take the smile as encouragement, but he knew he needed to say this to her, regardless: "But you mean so much to me as a friend... and... and, Aang does, too..." he trailed off, not sure how to explain how he felt.

Katara sighed heavily, then said, "It's okay, Zuko. I don't know if I want to be having other relationships anyway, even if Timeless Aang thinks it's okay. And my friendship with you is important to me, too."

Zuko nodded. A moment of mutual appreciation, then, and a mutual decision not to pursue something that could become extremely complicated and stood to lose them something that was important to them both. He felt both relieved and surprisingly disappointed, at the same time.

Then Katara reached out with her free hand to brush the hair away from his eyes, on the side that wasn't scarred. She said, "I always liked your hair when it was longer, and you wore it down." Zuko laughed weakly, and said, "Me too." They were silent for another moment or two.

Then Katara said, "And... actually, your company is really appreciated. I just felt so cold and alone, trying to fall asleep tonight. I was just laying here, feeling... small."

Zuko let out a short, slightly bitter laugh. "I know the feeling."

Katara looked at him critically for a minute. Then she said, "Would you... would you like to stay? As a friend, I mean?" She patted the bed. "I don't think I'd be so cold with such a skilled firebender close by." She gave a little half-smile.

Surprised, Zuko considered it. He'd never slept in the same bed with anyone, not even Mai. He was Fire Lord now, so it wasn't like anyone could tell him what to do or not to do. And they'd just agreed that they were good friends, and that their friendship was important to both of them. And if Aang was all right in theory with Katara dating other people, then he shouldn't be upset if they just slept in the same bed... And the more he thought about it, the more appealing the idea seemed. After all, he was lonely, too.

So he said, "Sure." Then he sat there awkwardly, not sure what to do next. Katara laughed at him and said, "You go over there," pointing towards the wall. He did as he was told, sliding back towards the wall and turning on his side, slipping his feet under the sheets. Even though they'd just had the whole conversation about how this wasn't going anywhere inappropriate (even if it could actually have been appropriate?), Zuko felt really nervous.

Katara climbed into the bed, too, and drew up the covers over the two of them. The bed was small, so they had to turn on their sides to fit in it together. Zuko found himself naturally putting an arm around Katara, extremely cautiously. After all, she was capable of creating razor sharp ice in a split second, and... well, technically, she knew how to bloodbend. He didn't want to startle her, even if it wasn't a full moon. 

But she made a comfortable sound as he did it, and snuggled back into him. She murmured, "You *are* warm." He smiled and found himself saying gruffly, "You're welcome." It felt good to have her pressed up against him; *really* good. At first Zuko worried he'd start down a mental path that would make this become really awkward really fast, but he was also quite tired, and as his thoughts got more uncoordinated as he began to fall asleep, he found his mind wandering back to Mai. How he'd never get to do this with her, or any of the other things he might have dreamt of in spare moments. And he almost felt ashamed as he found tears actually forming and starting to trickle down into Katara's hair. But he also found that he didn't really want to try to stop them.

He heard and felt Katara sigh. She turned in the bed until she was facing him. She was very close. Zuko tried to smile at her but utterly failed. Katara just shook her head at him slightly, and reached up to smooth the tears away. He closed his eyes and could feel that it was half touch and half waterbending. It was very comforting, very soothing, to have Katara take his tears away, quite literally. It was a beautiful feeling. It made him cry harder, but she just kept soothing him, until eventually the tears stopped.

Katara gently pushed his shoulder until she got him to turn and face the wall; Zuko didn't object. Then she wrapped her arms around him, tucking her legs up behind his. And then, whether he wanted to or not, he fell asleep.


End file.
